I really did think that I was going to end up having monthly updates during this series, but I didn't take into account that I would be SO BUSY! That's not to say that I couldn't have found the time (my mom teases me because I've been watching Scooby-Doo a fair amount as of late-- "I'm sorry, are we adults here?" "Yes, adults who watch Scooby-Doo."), but the timing and energy haven't really matched up until now, haha. But here we are! Two months down and let me fill you in on some things in my life:
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Let's start things off by talking about work--GUYS. I haven't been this happy with my work in a long, long while. I love my school, I love who I work with (both students and colleagues), the number of positives is just tremendous, and I don't think I have any negatives, actually. It's a lot of work, but it's good work, fun work, and I feel appreciated, which, as it turns out, is very important for me as far as a work environment is concerned. My office manager has given me multiple hugs and said, "We're so glad you're here"--I can't express how much I needed to hear that.
In case you weren't aware, I'm working at Thomas Jefferson Charter School right now, and there's some really great stuff happening! For one thing, the amount of teacher turnover is e x t r e m e l y low. Some of the teachers that I work with have been there since the school opened twenty years ago! It's also a school filled with some legacy--we have lots of siblings that attend. In fact, I have five kids from one family right now! I teach all grades, K-12, and that puts me in a really unique position to learn about families and practice different teaching approaches. Elementary music is delightful, and I'm so glad to be here! The kids are sweet and (for the most part) incredibly polite, and I'm having the best time teaching them concepts through little songs. The school does have a huge Christmas program every year, so I'm already gearing up for that...planning a big Christmas concert OH NO I HATE DOING THAT TWIST MY ARM
I also am teaching music appreciation to the middle and high schoolers, and I have had the best time doing it! We get together and talk about music history, and they humor me as I find memes and funny videos and a Disney movie for every era of music. And I can tell they are enjoying it as well--they ask good questions, they do well on projects, and I've even received thank you notes telling me how much they are liking the content. It's shocking to me, mostly because of my recent interactions with middle schoolers before this year, but I'm very, very pleasantly surprised. And it fuels my creativity!
It's funny, but a few years ago, when I was in college, I came home and was talking about something I was learning in my music history classes (Music 301, 302, and 303 babyyyyyyyyy), and I was just so excited to share it because I found it fascinating! So there I was, just talking and talking to someone in my family, and I finally stopped to take a breath, and this person said, "Oh Allison, where are we going to find someone to marry you?"
Now, before you start pulling out how-dare-they pitchforks, this isn't a Prince Hans "Oh Anna, if only there was someone who loved you" moment, though I admittedly was taken aback for a second. What it was was this person expressing the hope that I would find someone who shares similar interests with me, and perhaps the light concern that I wouldn't find someone like that. But that statement--"where are we going to find someone"--has stuck with me ever since that moment.
AS IT TURNS OUT, we don't need to find someone, haha--instead, I found a gig where students come into a classroom and have to listen to me geek out about stuff so they can pass. Quite frankly, it's a better situation, because I know they aren't pretending to be interested, haha! They're middle and high schoolers--known for hiding emotions they are not. Even if they aren't interested (and I tell them that it's okay, Vivaldi doesn't have to become your new favorite) (though strangely enough they love him and I catch them listening to him when they don't have to), they still pay some attention so they don't completely bomb the test (and then, as is the case for a few of them, they end up genuinely interested). It's a win-win.
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Next topic: we have to talk about Jack.
Jack, who I am 1000% obSESSED with, the light of my life, the one whom I have been waiting for the absolute most impatiently since Christmas, was born at the beginning of September, and I love being an aunt! He's absolute perfection, and having a baby in my life has made everything better. In fact, I've been fighting some depression this week because I have some bronchitis-esque-thing going on and I haven't been able to snuggle with him and it is the WORST
But he's not the worst, nononononono. He is THE BEST
Watching my parents become grandparents is the cutest thing, but I especially love watching my dad become Grandpa. Here he is with his little football. (Did I buy that onesie? You KNOW I did.)
Halloween costume goals: this image I saw on a candy corn bag. Me and Jack. It's happening someday.
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Okay, moving on--here's what some of you came here for, an update on the goals! Because of the nature of some of them I will be sharing partial updates (like how I haven't read thirty books in two months but I have read more than zero, haha), although there are some that I have completed in entirety!
1. Visit a restaurant I have never been to. We went to the Oregon Coast in July, and I was able to complete this goal repeatedly! We went to a roadside fish market and restaurant, and I had some delicious halibut and chips. We also went to a suuuuper cute ice cream store, and I had some of the best ice cream I have ever had! It was chocolate and hazelnut and a berry (marion? huckle?), and it was de.li.cious. We even went to a super remote lodge that can only be accessed by the Rogue River...so we did, on a boat tour. (HIGHLY recommend, it's one of the best experiences of my life.) But the place that I had intended to go to when I mentioned that I had a plan in place in the initial post was the Pig 'n' Pancake. Every time we visited the coast we drove by the PnP, and I had always wanted to try it out--so we did! It's a cute breakfast place, and I thoroughly enjoyed what I got, which was THE pigs in pancakes, haha.
4. Read 30 books. So far, I'm at 5 out of 30, which isn't bad! (I've also started #6.) I think that my favorite book that I've read so far was The Ambrose Deception. It piqued my attention when I read the description on the back and a review mentioned similarities to The Westing Game, one of my all-time favorite books, and after reading it I can see why that review referred to it that way! Highly recommend, and I would say this: if you have younger kids wanting to read a mystery, maybe have them read this one. It is less murdery than TWG. Still love it thoooooooo
5. Do temple work 30 times. I've attended the Meridian Temple twice so far, doing initiatories both times. That's not enough to stay on track, so I'm going to have to pick up the pace a bit, haha, but in my defense the temple is a quiet place, and I have been coughing for THREE WEEKS. Thankfully, I have a two week break coming up (yet *another* reason why I love my school), so I'll do a little catching up then.
8. Complete 30 jigsaw puzzles. I've completed four so far, but I've started more than that, and I have learned something important--not all puzzles are created equally. The materials, the shapes, the images...turns out, soy quisquillosa where puzzles are concerned. Dowdle puzzles still reign supreme in my eyes, but I've found some other good ones as well.
I really like these Peanuts ones that I've found--I have a plain one and a Christmas one. It's a set of twelve, and the pieces are color-coded on the back, so you know exactly which pieces go where. Quick assembly, very cute--I counted all of them as one. (Am I contemplating doing the Christmas set as I write this? Maybeeeeeeeee)
16. Read the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. I'm almost done with the Pearl of Great Price! I decided to start there because a) it's shorter and I can get an early victory, and b) I feel like it's the standard work that I know the least. I've learned a lot already, and I'm really enjoying it, which I'm a little surprised about but not totally surprised, you know? Like I'm appreciating it more as an adult.
17. Take a Professional Development class and/or start a Master's degree. I genuinely thought I was going to be starting a degree soon. I did all of the research, I was contacting my school to find out which programs would work with a system they have in place, etcetera, etcetera, Peter Cetera. As it turns out, it's not necessarily the wisest thing to do financially, because of the pay scale of educators in Idaho right now. Unless I'm planning on working in a particularly specialized position or teaching higher education, a Master's doesn't seem to be...worth it? At least, not right now. That's not to say that I don't like school, we all know I'm a big fan, but if I'm wanting to take classes purely for education's sake and not for the label of a degree, then professional development classes are the route for me. I mean, I have to take them anyway to keep my license up to date, I might as well take ones that I find interesting and use them to move over on the pay scale rather than getting into student loan debt for not *that* much return. Blah blah blah, thoughts and feelings.
ANYWAY, I have taken two classes this year so far through Idaho State (ISU and NNU are kind of my jam for PD), and I'm using what I've learned in my classes already! One of them was about adding music and movement into classes, and the other was about ADHD and what teachers need to know and can do--INCREDIBLY helpful stuff.
20. Forgive someone specific. I had a couple of you reach out to me after I shared my last post regarding my forgiveness journey, and I'm very grateful for your care and concern. I'll tell you what--things are going better. I find myself going for longer and longer stretches of time without thinking about this person, and if they do cross my mind there isn't nearly as much mental abuse happening. I even saw something that is part of a hobby of theirs, and while in the past I have had to go out of my way to avoid those aisles in stores, etc., this time it didn't even occur to me that it was *their thing* until much, much later. It's remarkable and miraculous, and it is healing that I have been asking for for a long while. Admittedly, I took some "drastic" measures that I was dragging my feet about, but doing them really was freeing (deleting phone numbers, unfriending on Facebook, giving things away that I had received from them, etc.)--I realized that holding on to those things was me being cruel to me, and had very little to do with thinking that this person would ever talk to or associate with me again. I've also had some other epiphanies that have contributed to this healing that I'll talk about in a second.
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Thanks for making it to this point! I promise I will try to post updates more frequently so they aren't as lengthy, haha. Here's the last thing I want to talk about, and it's kind of a big thing. Well, okay, not big, but big in MY life right now.
At many points in recent years, I have said many prayers asking for one difficult thing--I wanted to stop caring so much about dating. I wanted to not feel anything for any guys that I knew. I just wanted to live my life and focus on the things that are valuable right now, and I felt like I had a tendency to obsess over how I was coming across to different guys that I would meet. College dating was unsuccessful, post-college YSA dating was unsuccessful, and I felt a little bit miserable. Okay, quite miserable. A failure. A failure of an adult and a woman. And I heard so much advice about "it'll happen when you least expect it", but also "put yourself out there" and "girls can ask the guy out first, you know" (I have PROOF that this doesn't work for me, as I have never had anything successful come from asking a guy first SO THERE)--nothing helped. I prayed and prayed and prayed, and I was so conflicted because I knew that this was the time in my life where I was *supposed* to meet someone and *supposed* to start my family, but I also knew that God had a plan for me and that might not be it, but God's plan might also have been for that TO be it...like I said, I was kind of suffering.
I don't know how--maybe it's because of my new job, maybe because of Jack, maybe because of these thirty goals, maybe it was the choice to move into a family ward, I don't know--but I woke up one day, and I realized that I had no interest in dating. None. No one I was interested in, no desire to be on dating apps--heck, I didn't have a crush on anyone (not even a celebrity!) for the first time in like TWENTY YEARS. My prayer had been answered, my obsession had been lifted. I choose the word obsession here because it's not that I don't *ever* want to get married, but I realized that I've got other stuff going on to fill up my time and space and use my energy instead of waiting around for someone to think I'm acceptable enough. I realized that when I come home from work, I'm not lonely--I don't come home to a husband or kids, but I do get to come home to my favorite people. (My family is soooo close, you guys. It's the greatest blessing.) And kids? I mean, I used to get so sad thinking about the possibility of not having kids--now, well, I have hundreds, and they love me (really! They tell me so!) and I get to spend the best time with them, and I'm happy. It's good enough, at least for now! I feel fulfilled and content, a feeling I never imagined would happen in my wildest dreams.
I was having a conversation with a coworker last night (while chaperoning the world's smallest homecoming dance, it was super fun!), and he asked if I had a boyfriend or anything. And I said no, I was taking a break from dating and all that, and I loved what he said! He said, "Yeah, I did the same thing for like three years, it's great. And when I decided I was ready to find my wife, I knew exactly what I was looking for, what was important to me." And he did--he found someone perfect for him and their little family seems super happy. This was especially validating because he isn't a member of the church, and sometimes talking about marriage and families in a family-centered church is...overwhelming. Sometimes going to church and being surrounded by families is overwhelming. Sometimes the feeling of failure as a woman or a daughter or an adult is overwhelming.
But you know what? God's plan is my plan. That's this year's mantra, and I think He's okay with me doing jigsaw puzzles and watching Scooby-Doo instead of stressing over dating apps, haha.
I think that about covers it all--see you guys in a month or two!
{adventure fritter}
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